It surely isn’t fair to continually bang on about what a rotten place Logan is. I am a dreadful offender when it comes to this so I apologise and make a pledge. This post is going to be all about the positive side of Logan - all the good things. I’m confident that there are many things about Logan that make it a worthwhile locale and I am going to find these and list them here. I encourage you to think up some plus factors yourself and add them to the list.
Here we go:
* Logan has got some leafy trees.
* Logan is in Australia.
* My 3-year-old granddaughter lives in it.
* Granddaughter allows her 1-year-old brother to live with her in Logan.
* Logan has got some parrots and stuff like that flying about.
* Logan is called a city but is really a village (of the damned – stop it!).
* I saw an Echidna once in Millstream Road and it was not road-kill.
* Logan is quite close to civilization.
* We have got a streetlight in our road (just one, but it is quite bright).
* It is raining today in Logan.
* A UFO has not abducted anyone since we joined Logan – allegedly.
* Logan is an anagram of Gnola, which is a female gnome.
* Is Gordon the Garden Gnome pronounced Ordon the Arden Nome?
* Logan councillors are good for a laugh.
* When they are not being really embarrassing.
* Beaudesert is no longer ‘The Big City’.
* Now we are in Logan, my brother can’t call me a country bumpkin.
* My brother lives in Brown Stains for fucks sake.
* I used to call him Bogan Genetic Rubbish.
* Now I am Bogan Genetic Rubbish and my brother is very happy.
* He is a shit bag of the first water.
That will do for now. The strain of trying to think of Logan positively is intolerable so I’ll have a rest. If you think of anything, please let me know.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Bullcrap in a China Shop 2
I have resurrected this old deleted post in response to a reader’s comment on my “Don’t Make ‘Em Like That Any More” post. He was talking about Chinese goods and I agreed with the comment made and thought this old post deserved a second chance together with an update on what happened after.
*******************************************
Do you remember a time when you slaved and saved to buy something for the home? You went without and watched your pennies until the day came when you had enough to pay for the electric carrot chopper or whatever it was you needed. And when you brought the item home it worked perfectly and went on working for years and years and years until the kids busted it or the paint wore off.
Not any more.
Most things you buy now are mangled together in China by workers who don’t even know the purpose of the thing they are helping to make. They use components from other Chinese sweatshops and glue it all together with stuff that wouldn’t stick to a blanket. By the time it gets to you it’s already passed the use by date and is beginning to shed bits.
Don’t be fooled by the brand name either. Even the trusted, big name companies have shifted manufacturing to China or wherever they can get the most impoverished workers and child labour to ruin their eyes or break their backs for bugger all. Brand name western distributors (that’s all they are now) have been maniacally snatching profits as fast as they can before the whole scam destroys what little reputation their name has left (like Cadburys and their Made in China, Melamine-laced Eclairs – I mean, Christ, don’t Cadburys bloody check stuff?)
But they don’t give a shit – the big bosses will soon be retired and sitting on a beach somewhere wondering what the poor people are doing apart from standing in line hoping to get money back on a useless carrot chopper.
The owners of the Chinese factories are just as blatantly venal. They ignore any kind of regulation designed to protect the health of those who work in, or live near, the factories and will ruthlessly cut corners on manufacturing standards. The result of this is that Australian shops are filled almost exclusively with the cheapest possible crap that may just get past the guarantee date before spontaneously falling to bits.
What brought all this moaning on? I’ll tell you what brought it all on, my bloody Ryobi line trimmer that’s what brought it all on.
Three years ago I had a Ryobi that, after many years of service, was on it’s last legs so I went to Bunnings in Brown Stains to get another. I wanted to avoid the Talon trimmers that I had been told were rubbish but Bunnings had a green thing (forget the name) that was recommended and quite cheap so I bought it.
It lasted about three months and then wouldn’t start so I took it back and was told it would have to be repaired because it wasn’t covered by a replacement guarantee. After about four weeks and a dozen phone calls I got it back and it lasted half an hour before I was, once again, yanking away like a demented onanist. By this time I was furious and told Bunnings where to insert it.
I paid the extra and changed to a Ryobi. I was convinced it would go on and on like the old one and I would one day bequeath my Ryobi to my son. It lasted 3 years then seized up and I have just been advised to buy another because it will be cheaper than a repair.
This time I’m shopping in Jimboomba so I won’t have so far to go when I take the bloody thing back. It will cost me $50 more to buy a Stihl but I figure I will save on petrol and phone calls.
What’s the betting though, when I get it home I will find a little label stuck to it that says “Made in China”.
UPDATE – 3 MONTHS LATER.
I went to Mitre 10 in Jimboomba and they had 3 line trimmers to choose from. These ranged in price from $90 to $300 but they all had one thing in common – Made In China stickers! Then I noticed one more thing they had in common – exactly the same engine! I don’t mean that 3 line trimmers had one engine between them of course, I mean that all the engines were exactly the same as each other – right down to the last bolt and cooling fin. Yes folks, the difference between the cheap trimmer and the ‘quality’, ‘big-name’ expensive one was the colour and design of the plastic cover bolted to a common unit. What a bloody con!
I had intended buying a Stihl because I heard they were good but I was then told that, though they lasted a few more years if you were lucky, the cost of repairing them was about the same as the cost of a new one. So I went off Stihls.
So what did I do? I bought the $90 one of course because I’ve got two just like it at home (Yes the busted ones at home also have the same engine unit – including my old Ryobi that went on for years.) If the grass hadn’t been so long I might have given the whole thing a miss and cobbled one good unit out of the two at home because one of them has a seized engine and the other has dodgy electrics. But I’m not fast when I’m working on things mechanical so it would take me a couple of weeks to do that and the grass was getting really high in the gully.
I got the new line trimmer home and tried it out. It works - though it’s harder to start compared to the Ryobi that has better electronics in the starting circuits. It is also noisier because it has a cheaper muffler. However, all these bits are interchangeable between the three units I have so I (confidently?) predict 10 years of use out of my store of spare parts. That should see me out.
*******************************************
Do you remember a time when you slaved and saved to buy something for the home? You went without and watched your pennies until the day came when you had enough to pay for the electric carrot chopper or whatever it was you needed. And when you brought the item home it worked perfectly and went on working for years and years and years until the kids busted it or the paint wore off.
Not any more.
Most things you buy now are mangled together in China by workers who don’t even know the purpose of the thing they are helping to make. They use components from other Chinese sweatshops and glue it all together with stuff that wouldn’t stick to a blanket. By the time it gets to you it’s already passed the use by date and is beginning to shed bits.
Don’t be fooled by the brand name either. Even the trusted, big name companies have shifted manufacturing to China or wherever they can get the most impoverished workers and child labour to ruin their eyes or break their backs for bugger all. Brand name western distributors (that’s all they are now) have been maniacally snatching profits as fast as they can before the whole scam destroys what little reputation their name has left (like Cadburys and their Made in China, Melamine-laced Eclairs – I mean, Christ, don’t Cadburys bloody check stuff?)
But they don’t give a shit – the big bosses will soon be retired and sitting on a beach somewhere wondering what the poor people are doing apart from standing in line hoping to get money back on a useless carrot chopper.
The owners of the Chinese factories are just as blatantly venal. They ignore any kind of regulation designed to protect the health of those who work in, or live near, the factories and will ruthlessly cut corners on manufacturing standards. The result of this is that Australian shops are filled almost exclusively with the cheapest possible crap that may just get past the guarantee date before spontaneously falling to bits.
What brought all this moaning on? I’ll tell you what brought it all on, my bloody Ryobi line trimmer that’s what brought it all on.
Three years ago I had a Ryobi that, after many years of service, was on it’s last legs so I went to Bunnings in Brown Stains to get another. I wanted to avoid the Talon trimmers that I had been told were rubbish but Bunnings had a green thing (forget the name) that was recommended and quite cheap so I bought it.
It lasted about three months and then wouldn’t start so I took it back and was told it would have to be repaired because it wasn’t covered by a replacement guarantee. After about four weeks and a dozen phone calls I got it back and it lasted half an hour before I was, once again, yanking away like a demented onanist. By this time I was furious and told Bunnings where to insert it.
I paid the extra and changed to a Ryobi. I was convinced it would go on and on like the old one and I would one day bequeath my Ryobi to my son. It lasted 3 years then seized up and I have just been advised to buy another because it will be cheaper than a repair.
This time I’m shopping in Jimboomba so I won’t have so far to go when I take the bloody thing back. It will cost me $50 more to buy a Stihl but I figure I will save on petrol and phone calls.
What’s the betting though, when I get it home I will find a little label stuck to it that says “Made in China”.
UPDATE – 3 MONTHS LATER.
I went to Mitre 10 in Jimboomba and they had 3 line trimmers to choose from. These ranged in price from $90 to $300 but they all had one thing in common – Made In China stickers! Then I noticed one more thing they had in common – exactly the same engine! I don’t mean that 3 line trimmers had one engine between them of course, I mean that all the engines were exactly the same as each other – right down to the last bolt and cooling fin. Yes folks, the difference between the cheap trimmer and the ‘quality’, ‘big-name’ expensive one was the colour and design of the plastic cover bolted to a common unit. What a bloody con!
I had intended buying a Stihl because I heard they were good but I was then told that, though they lasted a few more years if you were lucky, the cost of repairing them was about the same as the cost of a new one. So I went off Stihls.
So what did I do? I bought the $90 one of course because I’ve got two just like it at home (Yes the busted ones at home also have the same engine unit – including my old Ryobi that went on for years.) If the grass hadn’t been so long I might have given the whole thing a miss and cobbled one good unit out of the two at home because one of them has a seized engine and the other has dodgy electrics. But I’m not fast when I’m working on things mechanical so it would take me a couple of weeks to do that and the grass was getting really high in the gully.
I got the new line trimmer home and tried it out. It works - though it’s harder to start compared to the Ryobi that has better electronics in the starting circuits. It is also noisier because it has a cheaper muffler. However, all these bits are interchangeable between the three units I have so I (confidently?) predict 10 years of use out of my store of spare parts. That should see me out.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Poison the Wells, Why Don't You.
You must have seen this choice item on the ABC:
**********************************************
“Queensland Premier Anna Bligh has defended the time it has taken to reveal a fluoride problem in some drinking water supplies north of Brisbane.
For three hours on May 1 some residents at Brendale and Warner were drinking water with a fluoride concentration 20 times higher than the recommended maximum.
Test results took 12 days to identify the problem.
Ms Bligh says she was advised last night, but only made the information public this afternoon after talks with health authorities and the council.
"This is the first available opportunity I've had to give a full press conference," she said.
Ms Bligh says the health risk was almost zero, and she is not rethinking her policy on fluoride.
"This is a problem with the system and the plant, I think it would be very wrong to say it's a problem with fluoride," she said.
Investigations are underway into what caused the water treatment plant malfunction.
A Queensland water safety group claims the Government has under-stated the extent of the incident.
Spokeswoman Merilyn Haines says the amount of fluoride involved was double the reported figure.
"I was absolutely horrified and shocked that the concentration was that high, 40 times what it should have been it should have been, that concentration is equivalent of 30 fluoride tablets in every glass of water," she said.”
**********************************************
Political rat-running, ducking and diving at its worst, wouldn’t you say? Hey, don’t you love this bit:
“Ms Bligh says the health risk was almost zero, and she is not rethinking her policy on fluoride.
"This is a problem with the system and the plant, I think it would be very wrong to say it's a problem with fluoride," she said.”
So the health risk was almost zero, eh? That sounds like poli-speak for “with a bit of luck nobody will die”. And isn’t it comforting to know this dangerous cock-up is a problem with the system and not a problem with fluoride. Which seems to me to be much the same as a nuclear explosion being a problem with physics and nothing to do with the bomb.
There are many, many arguments against putting a highly toxic chemical into our drinking water and only one argument in its favour – it cuts down on dental costs. As dental treatment is largely unsupported by Medicare it makes me wonder why our Federal and State governments are so concerned about our teeth.
Could it be something to do with the difficulty and cost of the disposal of fluoride, one of the most dangerous by-products on the industrial waste list? Did someone think long and hard about how to get rid of the horrible stuff and decide the cheapest way was to filter it in minute quantities through the population and back into the ground where it came from? This, together with the tooth enamel thing, means the waste becomes a marketable product and not just a deadly poison.
“What a brilliant idea,” says Anna “let’s drink to that! Evian anyone?”
All very well in theory but, perversely, messing with our water may be like playing with fire and may lead to tragedy even if they are really careful. And many of us don’t trust some politicians with a damp box of matches let alone the means to poison us all.
**********************************************
“Queensland Premier Anna Bligh has defended the time it has taken to reveal a fluoride problem in some drinking water supplies north of Brisbane.
For three hours on May 1 some residents at Brendale and Warner were drinking water with a fluoride concentration 20 times higher than the recommended maximum.
Test results took 12 days to identify the problem.
Ms Bligh says she was advised last night, but only made the information public this afternoon after talks with health authorities and the council.
"This is the first available opportunity I've had to give a full press conference," she said.
Ms Bligh says the health risk was almost zero, and she is not rethinking her policy on fluoride.
"This is a problem with the system and the plant, I think it would be very wrong to say it's a problem with fluoride," she said.
Investigations are underway into what caused the water treatment plant malfunction.
A Queensland water safety group claims the Government has under-stated the extent of the incident.
Spokeswoman Merilyn Haines says the amount of fluoride involved was double the reported figure.
"I was absolutely horrified and shocked that the concentration was that high, 40 times what it should have been it should have been, that concentration is equivalent of 30 fluoride tablets in every glass of water," she said.”
**********************************************
Political rat-running, ducking and diving at its worst, wouldn’t you say? Hey, don’t you love this bit:
“Ms Bligh says the health risk was almost zero, and she is not rethinking her policy on fluoride.
"This is a problem with the system and the plant, I think it would be very wrong to say it's a problem with fluoride," she said.”
So the health risk was almost zero, eh? That sounds like poli-speak for “with a bit of luck nobody will die”. And isn’t it comforting to know this dangerous cock-up is a problem with the system and not a problem with fluoride. Which seems to me to be much the same as a nuclear explosion being a problem with physics and nothing to do with the bomb.
There are many, many arguments against putting a highly toxic chemical into our drinking water and only one argument in its favour – it cuts down on dental costs. As dental treatment is largely unsupported by Medicare it makes me wonder why our Federal and State governments are so concerned about our teeth.
Could it be something to do with the difficulty and cost of the disposal of fluoride, one of the most dangerous by-products on the industrial waste list? Did someone think long and hard about how to get rid of the horrible stuff and decide the cheapest way was to filter it in minute quantities through the population and back into the ground where it came from? This, together with the tooth enamel thing, means the waste becomes a marketable product and not just a deadly poison.
“What a brilliant idea,” says Anna “let’s drink to that! Evian anyone?”
All very well in theory but, perversely, messing with our water may be like playing with fire and may lead to tragedy even if they are really careful. And many of us don’t trust some politicians with a damp box of matches let alone the means to poison us all.
Here We Go!
I noticed a post on the ABC News website that some people may have missed. I reproduce it below:
***************************************
Councils urged to raise rates
Posted 18 minutes ago
A report into local government finances says Queensland councils should consider borrowing more money and charging higher rates.
The report by consultant Alan Morton examines how councils could increase their revenue.
It found they should lift rates in line with costs to ensure services are not cut.
Greg Hallam from Queensland's Local Government Association says some councils have undercharged ratepayers.
"You've got to be able to maintain the assets," he said.
Mr Hallam says the report also shows councils could afford to borrow more money.
"There's an important point to be made that local government historically has probably been underweight," he said.
"We haven't had as much debt as we needed and there is an opportunity to borrow more.
"Now obviously in these current circumstances there will be some hesitancy towards that. Having said that, interest rates are at historic lows."
But Jill Lang from the Queensland Council of Social Service says she is worried rate increases will force rents up.
"It's the really low income people who suffer in these circumstances," she said.
The report also says the commercial and industrial sectors should carry more of the burden and debt is not a bad thing when properly managed.
It is being sent to all Queensland councils.
*******************************************
Oh, really?
As if the buggers needed encouragement. This all our Logan Royal Family would need to offer up as an excuse for bleeding their miserable subjects even more. For instance, what’s the point of having a better (and more expensive) two bin recycle/waste system if we’re having trouble affording enough of the food packed inside the cardboard we are supposed to recycle.
So Mr. Hallam thinks our councils are underweight does he? If that’s the case, there must be a lot of skinny people around because our councillors look like very fat cats to me. It’s always the same isn’t it? As soon as the going gets tough there are always those who will make it tougher just so they don’t suffer themselves. The Community Services will feed off the Community until there is no Community to service. Robin fucking Hood stealing the beggars bowl to feed his own face.
And which dick-head put the bit in the report about “debt is not a bad thing when properly managed”? Well, so is bubonic plague not a bad thing when properly managed. As long as the important people can be protected, the plague will rid society of the poor and other welfare spongers like pensioners – this is a good thing.
Debt is not a bad thing? What the fuck does Alan Morton think got us into this financial mess – too much prudence? Debt is always a bad thing for those in debt and remember, it’s us that will be put in debt by a council prone to squandering and quite frankly I wouldn’t trust Logan Council with my grand daughters piggy bank.
Oh, I can hear the fiscally aware trotting out all the super-complicated reasons why debt is an important part of our evolving capitalist system but that would be totally missing the point. Debt is gambling. At its worst it is gambling with lives. At best it is the dalliance of the morally bankrupt.
Okay, these days debt may be a necessary fiscal tool but it is a tool that should be used with extreme caution; or it will take your fucking hand off.
***************************************
Councils urged to raise rates
Posted 18 minutes ago
A report into local government finances says Queensland councils should consider borrowing more money and charging higher rates.
The report by consultant Alan Morton examines how councils could increase their revenue.
It found they should lift rates in line with costs to ensure services are not cut.
Greg Hallam from Queensland's Local Government Association says some councils have undercharged ratepayers.
"You've got to be able to maintain the assets," he said.
Mr Hallam says the report also shows councils could afford to borrow more money.
"There's an important point to be made that local government historically has probably been underweight," he said.
"We haven't had as much debt as we needed and there is an opportunity to borrow more.
"Now obviously in these current circumstances there will be some hesitancy towards that. Having said that, interest rates are at historic lows."
But Jill Lang from the Queensland Council of Social Service says she is worried rate increases will force rents up.
"It's the really low income people who suffer in these circumstances," she said.
The report also says the commercial and industrial sectors should carry more of the burden and debt is not a bad thing when properly managed.
It is being sent to all Queensland councils.
*******************************************
Oh, really?
As if the buggers needed encouragement. This all our Logan Royal Family would need to offer up as an excuse for bleeding their miserable subjects even more. For instance, what’s the point of having a better (and more expensive) two bin recycle/waste system if we’re having trouble affording enough of the food packed inside the cardboard we are supposed to recycle.
So Mr. Hallam thinks our councils are underweight does he? If that’s the case, there must be a lot of skinny people around because our councillors look like very fat cats to me. It’s always the same isn’t it? As soon as the going gets tough there are always those who will make it tougher just so they don’t suffer themselves. The Community Services will feed off the Community until there is no Community to service. Robin fucking Hood stealing the beggars bowl to feed his own face.
And which dick-head put the bit in the report about “debt is not a bad thing when properly managed”? Well, so is bubonic plague not a bad thing when properly managed. As long as the important people can be protected, the plague will rid society of the poor and other welfare spongers like pensioners – this is a good thing.
Debt is not a bad thing? What the fuck does Alan Morton think got us into this financial mess – too much prudence? Debt is always a bad thing for those in debt and remember, it’s us that will be put in debt by a council prone to squandering and quite frankly I wouldn’t trust Logan Council with my grand daughters piggy bank.
Oh, I can hear the fiscally aware trotting out all the super-complicated reasons why debt is an important part of our evolving capitalist system but that would be totally missing the point. Debt is gambling. At its worst it is gambling with lives. At best it is the dalliance of the morally bankrupt.
Okay, these days debt may be a necessary fiscal tool but it is a tool that should be used with extreme caution; or it will take your fucking hand off.
Don't Vote - It Encourages the Sods
In a post headed “Division3 as an indicator of the sentiment”, Lin Hall at Cedar Grove View (link in the right hand column) was concerned about non-voters in the recent council election and the likelihood that Logan councillors would decide not to chase the non-voters down. He says:
“Will the justification for allowing transgressors of the law to get away with their sins be that the economical situation demands that the ratepayers are not burdened with the frivolity of chasing down these non-voters and bringing them to task? Or will the councilors find another way of saying that it is just a frivolous law that we are not going to enforce? That means that councilors are so powerful in their position that (they) can decide not to enforce a law that everyone, without exception, has to abide by. Is this the sort of corruption that you are willing to allow councilors to enact on your behalf?”
Obviously Lin has a good point, a law is a law not a multiple-choice option. That said many believe that the idea of councilors as guardians of the law chasing up transgressors is a little like foxes chasing up the chooks or perhaps setting a thief to catch a thief. Let’s face it, politicians and their poor relations, local councilors, have got to be among the least trusted groups in Australian society. Some of us vote for them but do so without great enthusiasm. Like wiping your arse, it’s just something that has to be done. We know that most of the sods will let us down badly. We know that most of them are in it for themselves. We know that most of them think we are a mob of mindless arseholes that deserve to be fleeced. It’s no wonder that many potential voters will just shun the whole process.
I remember an election in the UK where voting is not compulsory and the turnout was about 30%. The next day the papers were full of speculation about the low turnout. Eventually it was decided that it wasn’t because the voters were lazy or because they weren’t doing their civic duty, it was because they were totally pissed off with politicians generally and were turning their backs. This is about the only effective protest that voters have. If you win in an election like that, you know you don’t truly represent anything. If you have lost in an election like that, you curse yourself because you might have got in if you had just raised your game. It can be a very effective protest.
And there is a lot to protest in the political world and not just in our part of the globe. Look at the expenses scandal in the UK including this choice information from the ABC news website:
Britain's 646 legislators (MP’s) receive an annual salary of almost 65,000 pounds ($131,500) and claimed 93 million pounds in expenses last year, an average of 144,000 pounds ($285,000) each.
Notice their basic pay isn’t much more than our Logan councilors screw and the cost of living is much higher in the UK. Wonder what the Logan expenses are?
And look at the double shuffling dance that Obama is now doing after he was voted in as the new great hope for mankind. Many of his honorable intentions have been well and truly fucked by the reality of dealing with the scummy swamps of practical politics where you are obliged to please many people you wouldn’t want to touch outside of a biohazard suit.
However, I have always voted because it is the law. I am obliged to turn up. But that didn’t stop me from once drawing a new box on my voting slip and voting for John Cleese. It was my protest vote. John Cleese didn’t get in.
“Will the justification for allowing transgressors of the law to get away with their sins be that the economical situation demands that the ratepayers are not burdened with the frivolity of chasing down these non-voters and bringing them to task? Or will the councilors find another way of saying that it is just a frivolous law that we are not going to enforce? That means that councilors are so powerful in their position that (they) can decide not to enforce a law that everyone, without exception, has to abide by. Is this the sort of corruption that you are willing to allow councilors to enact on your behalf?”
Obviously Lin has a good point, a law is a law not a multiple-choice option. That said many believe that the idea of councilors as guardians of the law chasing up transgressors is a little like foxes chasing up the chooks or perhaps setting a thief to catch a thief. Let’s face it, politicians and their poor relations, local councilors, have got to be among the least trusted groups in Australian society. Some of us vote for them but do so without great enthusiasm. Like wiping your arse, it’s just something that has to be done. We know that most of the sods will let us down badly. We know that most of them are in it for themselves. We know that most of them think we are a mob of mindless arseholes that deserve to be fleeced. It’s no wonder that many potential voters will just shun the whole process.
I remember an election in the UK where voting is not compulsory and the turnout was about 30%. The next day the papers were full of speculation about the low turnout. Eventually it was decided that it wasn’t because the voters were lazy or because they weren’t doing their civic duty, it was because they were totally pissed off with politicians generally and were turning their backs. This is about the only effective protest that voters have. If you win in an election like that, you know you don’t truly represent anything. If you have lost in an election like that, you curse yourself because you might have got in if you had just raised your game. It can be a very effective protest.
And there is a lot to protest in the political world and not just in our part of the globe. Look at the expenses scandal in the UK including this choice information from the ABC news website:
Britain's 646 legislators (MP’s) receive an annual salary of almost 65,000 pounds ($131,500) and claimed 93 million pounds in expenses last year, an average of 144,000 pounds ($285,000) each.
Notice their basic pay isn’t much more than our Logan councilors screw and the cost of living is much higher in the UK. Wonder what the Logan expenses are?
And look at the double shuffling dance that Obama is now doing after he was voted in as the new great hope for mankind. Many of his honorable intentions have been well and truly fucked by the reality of dealing with the scummy swamps of practical politics where you are obliged to please many people you wouldn’t want to touch outside of a biohazard suit.
However, I have always voted because it is the law. I am obliged to turn up. But that didn’t stop me from once drawing a new box on my voting slip and voting for John Cleese. It was my protest vote. John Cleese didn’t get in.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Censorship - Who Decides?
When I really think about it I realise how very important censorship is. Censorship is a good thing, there is no doubt about that, but what should be censored and by whom?
I suppose we would all pretty much agree on the censorship categories in which movies are placed but why does the criteria change over time? Young children can now officially watch and listen to material that would have been given an ‘X’ certificate 50 years ago. Why? Does it mean our children are less prone to corruption now or does it mean our values have been degraded by a gradual desensitising of our moral compass until it can no longer point the difference between what is seemly and what is debased. Or is it something else?
I am prone to using the odd expletive because I am common and not particularly well educated so I do not have the skill to express myself strongly enough, when I feel the need, in any other way. But I am also conscious of a sense of “freedom to express” that simply wasn’t there when I was young. The satisfaction of being able to write “fuck” when I feel like it is, therefore, strangely invigorating. However, I don’t believe this means we should allow the very young and impressionable to experience the same invigoration and freedom of expression – because they won’t.
Freedom may only be truly experienced by those who have been restrained at some time and we can only be invigorated by a new or uncommon experience. Let children be free with their paints and clay but restrict the hell out of their interaction with others (e.g. “You do NOT tell Kirsty to fuck off!” or “You do NOT beat Fabia to a pulp for not noticing your Dora the Explorer sunhat!” and “If you insist on doing these things you will get a well deserved slap on the backside.”).
Mind you, it’s become easier for me to claim the high moral ground in some things. At my age, sex has thankfully become a boring subject and has totally lost its appeal. Not that I don’t find the ladies attractive but it is different from the time of my youth when sex obsessed my yobby mates and I. Now I can look at a beautiful woman and truly appreciate the glorious wonder of beauty for its own sake.
For instance, I was watching the movie ‘Entrapment’ last night - the one with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Sean Connery. During the part where Catherine Zeta-Jones is performing her dance of stealth around the laser beams, I was enraptured. For me it was like looking at an original Rembrandt while a full orchestra played and Kiri Te Kanawa sang to me. I could have wept not tears of longing but of pure joy that there are some things too beautiful to be damaged by the crude sexual exploitation so rife in most of what is thrown at us and called ‘information’.
That still leaves the question of who decides what we should and should not do and see. Maybe we need someone totally outside of our society to make these judgements for us but I’ll come to that in another post.
I suppose we would all pretty much agree on the censorship categories in which movies are placed but why does the criteria change over time? Young children can now officially watch and listen to material that would have been given an ‘X’ certificate 50 years ago. Why? Does it mean our children are less prone to corruption now or does it mean our values have been degraded by a gradual desensitising of our moral compass until it can no longer point the difference between what is seemly and what is debased. Or is it something else?
I am prone to using the odd expletive because I am common and not particularly well educated so I do not have the skill to express myself strongly enough, when I feel the need, in any other way. But I am also conscious of a sense of “freedom to express” that simply wasn’t there when I was young. The satisfaction of being able to write “fuck” when I feel like it is, therefore, strangely invigorating. However, I don’t believe this means we should allow the very young and impressionable to experience the same invigoration and freedom of expression – because they won’t.
Freedom may only be truly experienced by those who have been restrained at some time and we can only be invigorated by a new or uncommon experience. Let children be free with their paints and clay but restrict the hell out of their interaction with others (e.g. “You do NOT tell Kirsty to fuck off!” or “You do NOT beat Fabia to a pulp for not noticing your Dora the Explorer sunhat!” and “If you insist on doing these things you will get a well deserved slap on the backside.”).
Mind you, it’s become easier for me to claim the high moral ground in some things. At my age, sex has thankfully become a boring subject and has totally lost its appeal. Not that I don’t find the ladies attractive but it is different from the time of my youth when sex obsessed my yobby mates and I. Now I can look at a beautiful woman and truly appreciate the glorious wonder of beauty for its own sake.
For instance, I was watching the movie ‘Entrapment’ last night - the one with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Sean Connery. During the part where Catherine Zeta-Jones is performing her dance of stealth around the laser beams, I was enraptured. For me it was like looking at an original Rembrandt while a full orchestra played and Kiri Te Kanawa sang to me. I could have wept not tears of longing but of pure joy that there are some things too beautiful to be damaged by the crude sexual exploitation so rife in most of what is thrown at us and called ‘information’.
That still leaves the question of who decides what we should and should not do and see. Maybe we need someone totally outside of our society to make these judgements for us but I’ll come to that in another post.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Don't Make 'em Like That Anymore.
How do they do that? Build stuff that automatically fucks up three seconds after the warranty expires? It’s got to be a firmware thing on a little chip inside whatever it is that is about to fly apart on you - slicing off one of your ears in the process.
Way, way, way back before the war I was given a Black & Decker drill for my 21st birthday. It had a circular saw attachment and a rubber thing you could put sanding discs on and all sorts of stuff like that. I’ve since lost the saw bits but the drill itself is still going. The paint’s worn off, it’s got dings all over and every crevice is clogged with the dust of countless DIY projects most of which ended in failure, but the drill whines on. My kids borrow it whenever they have a job too tough for the cordless, plastic food mixers they call their drills. I bought a couple of those battery drill things when they were 50 cents a dozen at Bunnings but I just use them as screwdrivers. It’s better than trying to find one of the old prehistoric screwdrivers in my toolbox because my toolbox is a deadly mess. It’s one of those huge plastic bins and is full of jingly metal bits that don’t look like any tools I’ve ever bought. To find something, you have to rake your hand through this tangle of lethal weapons and your hand comes back out minced with needle sharp panel pins rammed under every fingernail.
The point is the old drill is still alive after 45 years of abuse. So why is modern stuff so crap? Possibly because my Black & Decker cost a weeks wages back then - would we spend a weeks wages on a drill now? Probably not.
Then there is my air conditioning unit. I spent a weeks wages on that right enough but it’s stuffed. And it was still six months inside its warranty so I phoned the Good Guys all politely indignant and asked them to arrange for it to be fixed only to find that the firm that made the air con unit has gone into voluntary liquidation. The upshot was that the Good Guys told me to piss off. It turns out the Good Guys didn’t really mean it when they told me it had a 5 year warranty because I should have had an extended warranty which is the real warranty not like the written warranty that the Good Guys gave me which was only a Good Guys pretend warranty. That’s the Good Guys.
I did manage to get the unit fixed (at a price more than half the cost of the entire system) but I must remember to ask next time I buy something if there is a real warranty or a Good Guys warranty on whatever piece of shit I’m being served up with. Remember the Good Guys – cunts!
But all this is as nothing compared to the real reason (that’s a real reason, not a Good Guys reason) for this outburst of mine. Our home was built only five years ago and – wait for it – one of our taps is leaking! No, no, don’t scoff. I don’t mean the tap is leaking from a joint or a seal or anything as obvious as that, the tap is leaking through its body! Halfway along the spout that hangs over the sink several pinholes have developed and when I turn the tap on it sprays a fine mist all over me like the watering system you’d use in a hot house for your rare orchid collection. The fucking spout has worn out! In five years! It would take a constantly flowing river the best part of a century to wear away 2 millimetres of stone how the fuck can a steel tap get worn away by water that only flows a dozen times a day and that at a pressure that can’t wash a spider down the plughole. The bloody thing was swimming back up the stream of water and almost reached the tap! I fucking hate spiders.
So that’s my tap. I refuse to get a new one. I’ll stick a plaster on it. 2mm of steel worn away in five years – how do the manufacturers do it?
Way, way, way back before the war I was given a Black & Decker drill for my 21st birthday. It had a circular saw attachment and a rubber thing you could put sanding discs on and all sorts of stuff like that. I’ve since lost the saw bits but the drill itself is still going. The paint’s worn off, it’s got dings all over and every crevice is clogged with the dust of countless DIY projects most of which ended in failure, but the drill whines on. My kids borrow it whenever they have a job too tough for the cordless, plastic food mixers they call their drills. I bought a couple of those battery drill things when they were 50 cents a dozen at Bunnings but I just use them as screwdrivers. It’s better than trying to find one of the old prehistoric screwdrivers in my toolbox because my toolbox is a deadly mess. It’s one of those huge plastic bins and is full of jingly metal bits that don’t look like any tools I’ve ever bought. To find something, you have to rake your hand through this tangle of lethal weapons and your hand comes back out minced with needle sharp panel pins rammed under every fingernail.
The point is the old drill is still alive after 45 years of abuse. So why is modern stuff so crap? Possibly because my Black & Decker cost a weeks wages back then - would we spend a weeks wages on a drill now? Probably not.
Then there is my air conditioning unit. I spent a weeks wages on that right enough but it’s stuffed. And it was still six months inside its warranty so I phoned the Good Guys all politely indignant and asked them to arrange for it to be fixed only to find that the firm that made the air con unit has gone into voluntary liquidation. The upshot was that the Good Guys told me to piss off. It turns out the Good Guys didn’t really mean it when they told me it had a 5 year warranty because I should have had an extended warranty which is the real warranty not like the written warranty that the Good Guys gave me which was only a Good Guys pretend warranty. That’s the Good Guys.
I did manage to get the unit fixed (at a price more than half the cost of the entire system) but I must remember to ask next time I buy something if there is a real warranty or a Good Guys warranty on whatever piece of shit I’m being served up with. Remember the Good Guys – cunts!
But all this is as nothing compared to the real reason (that’s a real reason, not a Good Guys reason) for this outburst of mine. Our home was built only five years ago and – wait for it – one of our taps is leaking! No, no, don’t scoff. I don’t mean the tap is leaking from a joint or a seal or anything as obvious as that, the tap is leaking through its body! Halfway along the spout that hangs over the sink several pinholes have developed and when I turn the tap on it sprays a fine mist all over me like the watering system you’d use in a hot house for your rare orchid collection. The fucking spout has worn out! In five years! It would take a constantly flowing river the best part of a century to wear away 2 millimetres of stone how the fuck can a steel tap get worn away by water that only flows a dozen times a day and that at a pressure that can’t wash a spider down the plughole. The bloody thing was swimming back up the stream of water and almost reached the tap! I fucking hate spiders.
So that’s my tap. I refuse to get a new one. I’ll stick a plaster on it. 2mm of steel worn away in five years – how do the manufacturers do it?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Are We Really So Stupid?
By that I mean everyone else except you and I of course. Then again, I can’t possibly know about you. You could be a complete cretin for all I know but at least I know I’m not stupid and I have the sustificates to prove it. So why must we seem to be so stupid to politicians, the Media, advertising executives and the like? Why do they paint us in colours so dull and unbelievably boring that they think even a splash of bullshit will brighten our miserable, pointless lives?
I can only assume that these people are so incredibly moronic that they have to assume the worst of us or face the reality of their own inadequacy. They boost their insatiable egos by comparing their incomparable selves with the ground creeping scum called the common herd. Us. As seen by them.
The evidence for this is all around.
Have you seen the ad for mascara that promises women eyes that are 12% more alluring? They’ve achieved this by making the brush 12% bigger! So you get these dozy sods walking into walls because they’ve got half a kilo of powdered carbon and whale fat hanging off each eye. Ladies, you look like fucking racoons. It doesn’t make your eyes look bigger; it makes them look the same size with crusty black gunge whacked around them as though you’ve just finished a sixty niner with a chimney sweep. Come on girls; tell them to stick the brush up their fat arses where it belongs. Failing that spread the muck on with a lavatory brush then your eyes can be 4000% more alluring.
And now we’re going to tool up our armed forces so we can take on the Chinese. Hells Bells, we can’t even beat the Kiwis consistently so how are we going to manage against billions of Chinese slathering us with MSG? I reckon the only reason we are planning to get more planes, helicopters and subs is so all the politicians and important people like that will be able to get a cheap ride to safety before the shit hits the fan when we’re invaded. That will leave the rest of us pulling rickshaws and painting willow patterns on plates. What a fucking future.
Talking of politicians how about our new rep for state parliament, Aiden McLindon? What is he doing? He wants to rid us of the “scourge” of poker machines in pubs and clubs and build a gambling Mecca in rural Queensland instead. Was this kid pissed or just taking the piss? I mean - that’s like saying we have had enough of all the violent crime and domestic violence so we are going to bulldoze Beaudesert and recreate Mogadishu or Palestine in its place. That way people can have a proper war-zone to pop into when they feel a bit agro. They can do a spot of casual killing and probably get blown to bits themselves.
Look, Aiden (you don’t mind if I call you Aiden do you? – you do? – Okay). Look, Moonface, it’s obvious you were trying to talk outside the box in a failed attempt to ensure your maiden speech didn’t come over as just another big, boring, billow of arse air but for fucks sake pick something that is at least plausible. Do you seriously think that if a gambling Mecca was such a sure-fire winner, the Gold Coast wouldn’t already be it? Do you think the Gold Coast with its many tourist attractions, Jupiter’s Casino, beautiful beaches and ocean might be a slightly better venue for a main tourist spot than Beaudesert that can only offer cow shit and a population of mouth breathers that don’t shave on weekends and most of the days in between (except for the blokes – they will often give the old gob panel a bit of a scrape of a Sunday morning if they aren’t too pissed)?
The best that can be said is - you must have panicked. That’s it, you poor chap, you were nervous and felt intimidated and inadequate so you said the first thing that by-passed the nodule on your brain stem. That’s all right son, we’ve all done that from time to time but just remember it was The Mob, not the politicians, that made Las Vegas what it is. The politicians just raced in and clamoured for the kickbacks so, if your “dream” pans out, I’d dust off the old Reeboks if I were you or you might get flattened in the stampede.
I can only assume that these people are so incredibly moronic that they have to assume the worst of us or face the reality of their own inadequacy. They boost their insatiable egos by comparing their incomparable selves with the ground creeping scum called the common herd. Us. As seen by them.
The evidence for this is all around.
Have you seen the ad for mascara that promises women eyes that are 12% more alluring? They’ve achieved this by making the brush 12% bigger! So you get these dozy sods walking into walls because they’ve got half a kilo of powdered carbon and whale fat hanging off each eye. Ladies, you look like fucking racoons. It doesn’t make your eyes look bigger; it makes them look the same size with crusty black gunge whacked around them as though you’ve just finished a sixty niner with a chimney sweep. Come on girls; tell them to stick the brush up their fat arses where it belongs. Failing that spread the muck on with a lavatory brush then your eyes can be 4000% more alluring.
And now we’re going to tool up our armed forces so we can take on the Chinese. Hells Bells, we can’t even beat the Kiwis consistently so how are we going to manage against billions of Chinese slathering us with MSG? I reckon the only reason we are planning to get more planes, helicopters and subs is so all the politicians and important people like that will be able to get a cheap ride to safety before the shit hits the fan when we’re invaded. That will leave the rest of us pulling rickshaws and painting willow patterns on plates. What a fucking future.
Talking of politicians how about our new rep for state parliament, Aiden McLindon? What is he doing? He wants to rid us of the “scourge” of poker machines in pubs and clubs and build a gambling Mecca in rural Queensland instead. Was this kid pissed or just taking the piss? I mean - that’s like saying we have had enough of all the violent crime and domestic violence so we are going to bulldoze Beaudesert and recreate Mogadishu or Palestine in its place. That way people can have a proper war-zone to pop into when they feel a bit agro. They can do a spot of casual killing and probably get blown to bits themselves.
Look, Aiden (you don’t mind if I call you Aiden do you? – you do? – Okay). Look, Moonface, it’s obvious you were trying to talk outside the box in a failed attempt to ensure your maiden speech didn’t come over as just another big, boring, billow of arse air but for fucks sake pick something that is at least plausible. Do you seriously think that if a gambling Mecca was such a sure-fire winner, the Gold Coast wouldn’t already be it? Do you think the Gold Coast with its many tourist attractions, Jupiter’s Casino, beautiful beaches and ocean might be a slightly better venue for a main tourist spot than Beaudesert that can only offer cow shit and a population of mouth breathers that don’t shave on weekends and most of the days in between (except for the blokes – they will often give the old gob panel a bit of a scrape of a Sunday morning if they aren’t too pissed)?
The best that can be said is - you must have panicked. That’s it, you poor chap, you were nervous and felt intimidated and inadequate so you said the first thing that by-passed the nodule on your brain stem. That’s all right son, we’ve all done that from time to time but just remember it was The Mob, not the politicians, that made Las Vegas what it is. The politicians just raced in and clamoured for the kickbacks so, if your “dream” pans out, I’d dust off the old Reeboks if I were you or you might get flattened in the stampede.
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